california — blog — Southern Belle Nomad

The past couple of months have been one giant step forward followed by the sensation of finding my footing and praying to jesus christo I don't fall over or down. The step forward was an amalgamation of realizations, among them that I didn't want to live in Paris, I wanted to live in California, I didn't want to be a professional nomad, I still wanted to travel the world, and I wanted to begin creating a solid foundation for the rest of my life.

Cool, right? Up until the waning of 2016 post-college, I had mostly worked, saved, traveled, worked, saved, chilled, travelled with no real end in sight. That was all good and well until I realized I have the capabilities to create the life I truly want. A life that has roots with the possibility of regularly residing on the stems.

To really land on that directional shift and lean into it was a special kind of liberation. To realize structure isn’t an opponent of adventure. To realize creating a home doesn’t have to be settling. And better yet, that settling isn’t inherently a bad word. My child self was like "woah, this is some adult stuff!"

The most exciting of all is creating a life. Creating a life! It’s like being 5 years old again and only picking the Starburst flavors that make my tongue dance (pink, duh). I can aim for a career that allows me to bring in regular income and travel. I can live in a place that allows me to revel in the city life and the rural life. I can be a regular at a grocery store or a bar and walk into a new spot anytime I want and become a stranger like I would in Sarajevo or Copenhagen to get the mysterious fix I crave.

I can live somewhere long enough to foster a loving community of friends I’ve so longed for my entire life. I can create a home for myself where I can rest, relax, and retreat. I can leave that home whenever I want when I’m itching to be nomadic.

To really feel that the two opposites in me—the rooted Southern home-maker and the free-spirited, untamed renaissance woman—can truly coincide in harmony is a relief. But the day-to-day pendulum between the two is still a balancing act (one I look forward to expounding upon here in the coming weeks).

The other side of creating a life perfectly tailored for me? CREATING A LIFE PERFECTLY TAILORED FOR ME?! Wait, how do I do that? Where do I start? What is this perfect job that’s going to allow me to actually make money and travel? Where is this community of people? Probably somewhere drinking champagne, meditating, and not eating kimchi. California is actually an entire state…Well, at least I got a state, but jeez, I could’ve picked one with a smaller land mass so I could have, ya know, fewer cities to choose from as home.

As it turns out, with one stone turned comes another stoned covered with beautiful, glistening moss I will gleefully and most likely awkwardly untangle. I can’t wait to see what’s underneath, but at the moment the thickness of the green is a sight to see and if I tried to step on it right this moment I would most definitely fall and bust my ass. Here's to breathing and patience.

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