Indecisiveness is a Bitch

Paris
in

Today I had an epiphany in a grocery store. Am I a Southern woman or am I a Southern woman?

To tell this story, I’ll have to back up a bit. These last few week have been a tumultuous roller coaster for me.

After a month of backpacking, I returned to my apartment in Paris for only 3 days before departing for Northern California to celebrate the wedding of my closest person and her soulmate. I spent a week in Northern California and now I’m currently sitting at a wonderful little haunt in Montmartre.

I won’t bore you with the details of my recent past, but I will say it has been one hell of a ride. My insides were all over the place. And at the end of this vague time period, I was one month out from starting this blog and am now 0 days shy of writing a business plan for my own startup. (‘Bout time, turns out I’m a beast at helping other people’s dreams come true, might as well start working on my own.)

Short-hand recent past inner-monologue: Do I want to continue writing on a blog that’s titled in a way that pigeon-holes me? What if I settle in one place for longer? Does that mean I'm no longer traveling "'round the world?" Shouldn’t I just write under my own name if my goal is to present my authentic self? Should I move back to California? I feel at home there. So many of my loves are there. But I need to be in San Francisco. That’s where all the start-ups are. Paris is too settled in its ways. No one is innovating there. People just walk around and drink coffee and wine. They aren’t hustlers. I need hustlers. San Francisco has hustlers. But I couldn’t be there full time. It would be too much. So maybe LA? But I don’t want to be there full time. Same problem. Too many loafers and schmoozers. Now that I’m back in Paris, I don’t care why these people are slow. They have all the croissants and all the champagne. I’m never leaving this place.

Needless to say, I get caught in my indecisiveness a lot. It bogs me down like a pig in 10 feet of mud. Good god it’s exhausting.

Then last night, post-nearly 18 hours of international travel, a dear friend of mine sent me a text telling me to check my e-mail. I love surprises.

He had sent me an article titled “What happens when you take full responsibility of your life.” Click the link to give it a read.

I have struggled with indecisiveness my entire life. Despite lots of self work, I still struggle with it and I might as well accept that I always will. But constant work on my self has sometimes allowed me to dig deeper and figure out what’s really going on.

Prior to reading this article, I once told someone that my indecisiveness presents itself in its most monstrous form AFTER I’ve made a decision. I will choose what I want for myself, but what follows is a period of second-guessing and self-doubt and fear of failure and fear of making a mistake. My authentic self chooses something and then my “dark side” (what I like to call it) says OH NO I DON’T THINK SO.

Per the article, I realized that what really lurks in my brain is a fear of commitment for a multitude of reasons. That dark side is a tricky mother fucker.

That paragraph up there? The one with all the concerns and worries and shoulds and should nots? Yeah. Fuck that. Fuck all that noise. The logistics don’t matter. This is what my authentic self has chosen as of this moment and I want to publicly make a commitment to myself right here. I commit to:

Writing

Building a supportive community for women

Traveling

Staying healthy / self-care

Connection

Creating a home wherever I am

See: grocery store epiphany. These commitments to myself don’t exist in a place or in other people or in a blog title. They exist in me. All the worries I listed above were, in a sense, asking for outside sources to love me back. I wanted Paris to embrace me and shift to my needs. I wanted different parts of California to embrace me and shift to my needs. I wanted my blog or my business venture to give me validation for the kind of life I want to live. In letting the indecisiveness and self-doubt take over, I looked everywhere outside my self for ANY KIND OF ANSWER. Because let’s face it, that dark side bitch wants to ruin my life.

But just like a relationship with any person, trying to force it to change to your own will taints it. You are no longer truly giving love to the authentic Paris or Los Angeles or San Francisco if you ask it to change for you. And trying to change myself to fit into a place or blog title taints my own authentic self. No matter where I am I'll always miss somewhere else. And if I were just writing under “Tanna Key” it wouldn’t give the site space to grow. I want other Southern voices up in here.

I vow to commit to the things I’ve listed above. And the list will grow longer. And I will change my mind all the time when it comes to logistics, but the core truths of my soul will remain constant. And through true consistency I will nurture my authentic self and foster my own validation of my own self worth that has existed within me all along.

Cheers, y’all. I need to finish my champagne. 

 

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Malibu couldn't be more of a dream come true. Thank you for all you've given me so far: inspiration, love, hope, spark, motivation, and stillness. Thank you for everything that is yet to come. My heart belongs to you. #malibu #california #malibumorni
As soon as I land here, my body drinks up the moisture and my skin and heart are revived. My body knows it was born and bred here. Traveling the world has made me so grateful for my home. Shout out to my Dad's '90s truck that still runs like new and
En route to Denver ⛰ #southernbelle #nomad #roadtrip
Nothing like day drinking in a tiny town. Helllllo, Durango 🦌
Dandelion wishes 💫

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Backpacking Europe: Bus, Plane, or Train?

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Without a doubt, I choose train. Below is a summary break down.

Train view from Naples to Rome.

Train view from Naples to Rome.

Bus / Car Service

  • This is without a doubt the cheapest option
  • It is also typically the slowest option
  • If you’re only in a city for a day or two, it will cut into your sightseeing time
  • Luggage storage can be tight depending on your load of people
  • A lot of European buses are plush as fuck if you care about that
  • You get views of the country side, road trip style

Conclusion: Buses and ride share type vans are cheap and usually fun. You can meet a lot of other people this way who are also traveling/backpacking/hitchhiking. Decide if travel time or phobia of buses is an issue for you and you’ve got your answer.

Plane

  • A 1 hour flight clocks in at a typical 5 hours when you include transport and check in
  • Regulations for carry on and checked bags are a hassle
  • Security is a hassle
  • You always land outside the city center and end up having to pay for transport
  • You get to look at the world from the sky
  • Food and beverages are offered on board most planes
  • You can’t take a snow globe on a plane
  • You can’t take wine on a plane

Conclusion: As much as I love airports and planes, I don’t prefer planes for backpacking Europe. They can be very inexpensive if you have a home-base and want to get away for a weekend at a time. For country hopping, however, they feel a bit clunky in my flow from city to city and I’d only recommend them for long distance relocations.

Train

  • Trains always begin and end in the city center
  • They typically connect easily to local public transportation lines
  • They’re the fastest in terms of total transport time
  • No real luggage size restrictions (most let you have 2 suitcases and a personal item)
  • No real luggage weight restrictions
  • Food and beverages are offered on board most trains
  • Trains also tend to be lush as fuck
  • You get to look out the window at mostly uncharted train territory
  • You can bring wine on a train
  • You can bring champagne on a train
  • You can bring a large ass bottle of shampoo on a train

Conclusion: Trains are the shit. They combine ease with efficiency and enjoyableness. That is all.

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Backdrops 🙌🏼
Malibu couldn't be more of a dream come true. Thank you for all you've given me so far: inspiration, love, hope, spark, motivation, and stillness. Thank you for everything that is yet to come. My heart belongs to you. #malibu #california #malibumorni
As soon as I land here, my body drinks up the moisture and my skin and heart are revived. My body knows it was born and bred here. Traveling the world has made me so grateful for my home. Shout out to my Dad's '90s truck that still runs like new and
En route to Denver ⛰ #southernbelle #nomad #roadtrip
Nothing like day drinking in a tiny town. Helllllo, Durango 🦌
Dandelion wishes 💫

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The Schengen Zone: The Key to Bumming Around Europe for as Long as You Want

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Disclaimer: This post is meant to be as informative as possible, but I am only human. Correctly dealing with border patrol is pretty important, so please check local embassies' websites for the most up-to-date information. 

 

The Basics: Your American Visa in Europe

With a valid American passport, you are allowed to enter the Schengen Zone for a total of 90 days within a 180 day period. In laymen’s terms, you are allowed to spend a total of 3 months in the Schengen Zone every 6 months. Your visa does not “reset” if you go outside the Schengen Zone, it resets 6 months after you first enter the Schengen Zone.

 

The Schengen Zone vs the European Union

What is the Schengen Zone, you ask? Correct question. I didn’t know what it was until half-way through my first month of backpacking—please don’t be terribly naïve like me. Or do. It can be fun sometimes.

The Schengen Zone refers to those European countries who have agreed to abolish passport and/or border patrol, meaning you can move between these countries freely once you enter the Schengen Zone. If the world were simple, the Schengen Zone would be the same as the European Union. It, my friend, is not. 

Some countries are considered part of the European Union, but not the Schengen Zone. England, until recently (RIP Brexit), was one, along with Ireland, Croatia, Romania, and Bulgaria. Other countries are in the Schengen Zone, but not the European Union. These include Iceland, Norway and Switzerland.

Long story short, if you want to travel for more than 3 months in Europe, you must split your time up between the Schengen Zone and non-Schengen Zone unless you want an illegal immigrant passport stamp. I recommend playing, but not with border patrol.

For all its confusion, the Schengen Zone is actually awesome because it allows you to hop around European countries for longer than 3 months if you like. It's always my goal to stay here as long as I can because I love to travel, but also because flights back to the USA are so expensive. You go, Schengen Zone!

I’ve created the most basic map to give you a general idea of how all this looks visually.

If you're interested in an EU vs Schengen Zone vs Non-Schengen zone map, you can find tons of these venn diagram types all over the web.

If you're interested in an EU vs Schengen Zone vs Non-Schengen zone map, you can find tons of these venn diagram types all over the web.

Think of the big blue Schengen Zone as its own giant country with the same exact border protection laws. 

Every country outside the Schengen Zone (like the UK, Ireland, or anywhere else for that matter) has its own border protection protocol. Luckily, most of these countries work the same way as the Schengen Zone: you don't need to apply for a tourist visa; you only need your passport.

 

An Example

You could spend 3 weeks in France, 2 weeks in Germany, 1 week in Belgium, one 1 in the Netherlands, 2 weeks in Italy, 2 weeks in Spain and 1 week in Portugal. This would total 3 months in the Schengen Zone.

You could then spend 4 weeks in the UK, 1 week in Ireland, 2 weeks in Croatia, 2 weeks in Bosnia, 1 week in Serbia, 1 week in Bulgaria, and 1 week in Macedonia. This would total 3 months outside the Schengen Zone. You've now hit 6 months.

At this point, you could legally return to the Schengen Zone for another three months. 

This is a very simple example and these locations don't have to be in order. You can hop in and out any time you like; just be sure to keep track of your days.

 

Pro Tips

If you do travel in and out of the Schengen Zone frequently (like I do), keep notes of your days in a calendar. 

Any day you've spent inside the Schengen Zone counts as an entire day starting at hour 00:00. So, if you leave Germany at 6:00 AM on a Tuesday to go to Croatia, that Tuesday still counts as a day within the Schengen Zone. 

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Backdrops 🙌🏼
Malibu couldn't be more of a dream come true. Thank you for all you've given me so far: inspiration, love, hope, spark, motivation, and stillness. Thank you for everything that is yet to come. My heart belongs to you. #malibu #california #malibumorni
As soon as I land here, my body drinks up the moisture and my skin and heart are revived. My body knows it was born and bred here. Traveling the world has made me so grateful for my home. Shout out to my Dad's '90s truck that still runs like new and
En route to Denver ⛰ #southernbelle #nomad #roadtrip
Nothing like day drinking in a tiny town. Helllllo, Durango 🦌
Dandelion wishes 💫

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